I Need a Recorder

Hayden
Bad-mare dream: Nightmare
Tablets: Tadpoles
Painting: Payton (cousin)
Bamote: Remote
Badiculous: Ridiculous
Ruffles: Wrinkles
Potato: Matteo (boy at school)
Serena Gomel: Selena Gomez
Copy-ate me: Copying Me

Cole
Horn: Warn
Spaguitos: Mosquitos
Copy-ate me: Copying Me

Me: How did pink marker get on the wall?
Hayden: It's a mystery.

Me: Will you please grab that?
Hayden: Yes, I will, your majesty.

Hayden: I want a peanut butter spoon.
Me: How about a peanut butter sandwich?
Hayden: I'm not falling for that.

Me: You want to hike tomorrow?
Cole: Yes, the challenging one I did with Daddy. Think you can handle it?

Hayden: I love everyone in the world!! Except not the strangers.

Cole: Daddy, why does the pretzel team have a goat for a mascot?! It should be a pretzel! (UNC)

Hayden: I'm a snack machine.

Hayden: Is it called Pirate's Booty because a pirate made it and sold it to Costco?

Hayden: Is Santa bigger than a leprechaun because he eats so many cookies?

Hayden: How did Sutton get out of your belly?
Me: The doctors helped me.
Hayden: But how? Did they just open up your shirt and the baby just falled-ed out?
Me: Yep.
Hayden: I knew that's how it worked.

Bubble Guppies: What's your favorite instrument?
Hayden: Violin. (long pause - turns to me) What's a violin?

Hayden (at mall): This bathroom is disgusting. Wish I could stand.

Cole: I was going to give you one (vanilla wafer) but they were so good I couldn't even stop.

Hayden: Daddy, there is something you need to know. (dramatic pause) I don't like Little Pony toys but I like Little Pony the show.

Hayden: I'm not going to school or work because I don't want to do a job.

Hayden to Cole during an argument: When we play Dead Man, Dead Man should I just call you Rude Man, Rude Man?